|The Long and Winding Road
||[Mar. 9th, 2009|07:52 pm]
|||||"Memories" by Eisley||]|
Oy vey. I can't believe I'm back here. This is the first blog I've had since sophomore year and I can't believe I got sucked back in. I'm not really sure what to write for a first post that isn't too trite or juvenile. SO... I'm posting something I wrote a while back.
“Everyone wants a happy ending. That’s why Carrie and Big end up together. It’s why Meredith and McDreamy finally decide that their relationship is worth fighting for. It’s why Disney grew from a single man’s dream into a multi-billion dollar corporation. It’s also completely ridiculous. Life is not a fairy tale. Prince Charming is not going to ride in and save anyone. Hell, he’ll be lucky if he can save himself. We’re alone. Even when we think we’ve found that someone who’ll make everything alright, who’ll accept us (flaws and all), and who’ll hold our hands when things get tough, we’re still alone.
This is what happens when you’re 19, gay, and the most significant relationship you’ve ever had was with a girl from your high school. You become me. You become the person who, instead of going out when you have nothing to do all day, you sit at home watching TV on DVD and crying for the fictional people and stories emanating from the glowing screen of your laptop. You become so fucking numb that one day you start to think about how alone you truly are and you realize that you’ll probably stay that way forever, and you don’t even care enough to go out and change your fate.
I know that some people have problems far worse than mine. I’m not starving, I’m not homeless, and I don’t have an inoperable brain tumor. I have cynicism and depression. I have Diet Coke and cigarettes."